An Evening With Lord Nelson
Come face-to-face with the most stupidly-brave little chap in the history of naval warfare, in this interactive and informative comedy. Climb aboard, and learn about the man this town is named after, on his perilous voyage to Victory! There’ll be one arm, one eye, and one… jolly good time, with solo actor Dan Allan as Horatio Nelson.
To the Citizens of Nelson,
Having been outright killed by a French musket ball to the spine some 200 years ago, I have quietly, and with some embarrassment, observed many honours and public erections dedicated to my memory, including, in 1842 the naming of your fair and pretty town, Nelson, after me, Horatio Nelson. On disembarking in your town recently, I was gobsmacked- and not a little dismayed- to discover that very few of the fair citizens could identify me. I was at one point, on Trafalgar St, taken for Napoleon, which was most lamentable.
It dawned on me that one cannot possibly be expected to live in such a fair place without proper knowledge of its namesake. Taciturn and modest though I am, I will undertake it to conduct a public talk that will include biographical simulations, mummery, and shanties to warm the cockles, elucidate, and enlighten. I am a fascinating subject.
England expects that every man (and woman) will do his (or her) duty, and come to my public showing, just as I would also expect that all in attendance would man (or woman) a station on board the 104 gun Victory and die valiantly for their King, if necessary, against the satanic French marauders, if there be so any in the theatre.
in abject horror at your ignorance,
but with good humour and love in my heart at the thought of being with you all,
yours, and forever England’s,
Horatio Nelson, Vice Admiral of the White, of Bronte and the Nile